My Uncensored Views Of An Evolving World

The psychology of the human mind is not a concept that is simple to grasp, for I think most of us would agree that we are a complicated species, which is what separates us from the animals. We think and have emotions at another level. We are capable of possessing knowledge, something that animals cannot fathom. We have total awareness of what surrounds us, and the way we absorb this information sets us apart from every other organism. We are superior beings in every sense of the word.

We also have the ability to become spiritual beings and be absorbed by our constant yearning to discover something greater, beyond the obvious scope of life. We are philosophical by nature, always examining our world to draw conclusions. We also have one element that cannot be matched, and that is our ability to both love and hate, emotions that can dramatically vary within our souls, for our make-up is so perplexing that circumstances can vary without predictability.

It is perhaps because of love that we see a lot of cases of women and men staying in abusive relationships, unable to escape from the sick triangle of denial, accepting whatever abuse they are receiving, and being consumed by their twisted ideology of an ill love. It is as if the abuser lacks the basic emotion of empathy, for when they decide to abuse they cannot think and allow the anger to take control of their soul.

One of the most compelling reasons that I have seen given for why abusers act the way they do is that they are addicted to the power that total control gives them, for it elevates them in ways few things could. They are corrupted by this same feeling, and are unwilling to let go of this tight grip they have secured, not caring that in the process they are demoralizing the one they claim to love. They live in total denial, and will give you countless excuses for their behavior, be it drugs, drinking, money issues, stress, or a bad upbringing.

All of these are empty reasons that they proceed to utilize to gain emotional control over their victims, and, sadly, in many cases they are effective excuses that keep them in control of the situation, for their victims are too weak to fight, having become too comfortable to challenge their oppressors, and preferring to suffer in silence as their loved ones urge them to stand up for themselves.

Many victims feel totally crippled by the fact that they have been with the abuser for so long that it is nearly impossible for them to envision a different existence, for this relationship, despite the dysfunction, gives them peace, and allows them to reside in the safe confines of what is familiar, too afraid to explore the unknown, despite the fact that we are all aware that they would be better off alone. Many use their children as excuses to stay, citing that children are better off when two parents are together, for the idea of them splitting would prove to be too traumatic.

Therefore, the victims are willing to sacrifice their lives for the lives of the children, something that I admire but can’t quite comprehend, for I’ve never understood this idea that, simply because someone has children, they must give up on their own lives, dedicating their entire existence to their kids. I don’t believe in giving up your life for someone else, as if you have to become a martyr if you are a parent, unable to live for yourself at least a little. If someone is unhappy, they must be a little selfish and do something about their unhappiness, for life is way too short to live miserably. I can assure you that one day your children will respect you more for the fact that you fought for your happiness and taught them to do the same in the process.

This next point is a cold one, but sometimes the victims simply decide to stay for monetary reasons, knowing that their oppressors are the bread winners, something that gives them complete control over them. They realize that they have nowhere to go and, in their disturbed way of thinking, are willing to throw away their happiness for financial security. This I cannot admire, as it is a horrible way of thinking, leading me to lose some respect for the victim. The victim must find the strength to act, for there are domestic abuse hotlines that can assist you with your struggle, members who understand the danger of attempting to leave an abusive partner.

It is important for the victim to realize that they are not alone, and they must realize that there are others who have gone through the same experience and have managed to triumph over their aggressors. Some of these help centers will even provide you with basic necessities and a place to stay. So, there is really no reason to stay in such a situation, and the sooner the victim realizes this, the better, for it is in their best interest. The price of not doing so could be too high to deal with.

Let’s not forget , though, that I am not only discussing physical abuse, for there is also something known as emotional and mental abuse, two acts which can be just as damaging. The scars that these type of acts can leave behind can be much greater than the scars a punch can leave, for the mind is like a tape recorder, always recording every painful word only to regenerate it later on as a traumatic vision of what the past created. So, the victim is at risk of fooling themselves, justifying the actions of the abuser by convincing themselves that it can’t be that bad if they are not being physically damaged. After all, no one will be able to see the emotional scars, as those are invisible.

So, here I am, and I am making a pledge to all of you out there who are facing abuse, imploring you to not tolerate it anymore, for you must realize that you deserve better, as currently, you are wasting the only life you have been given. Ignore the fact that the person you love once was sweet and loving, and start viewing them for what time has transformed them into, and that is monsters of society.

No excuse is valid for abuse, and I am not only talking about man on woman abuse, but against all type of abuse.I know how difficult it must be after you have been with someone for so many years and have grown attached to them, as you recall the magical moment when you fell in love, but it is time to find the strength to move on.

You owe this to yourself above all, and also to your children if you have them. There is no better lesson for a child to learn than the lesson to fight back against those that seek to control you and make you weak, for they will learn that the only way to live life if to be strong. Seek the help you need, doing the research that is required, and you will find that help is not far away. Save yourself and leave your oppressor alone to suffer with their insecurities, for you have done everything you could and just, simply, were not appreciated enough.

Besides, if there is hope that the abuser may one day change, the only way to find out if you leave, knowing that only when we lose something do we realize what we had. The time has come to recover your power. In the words of the great Martin Luther King Jr.: “A man can’t ride your back unless it’s bent”. It is time to straighten up that back and walk away. There is a better life at the other side of those walls that have kept you prisoner. The time to act is now.

• A Warning To All Parents
• The Plight Of The Hungry

• The Passing Of A Legend The Passing of a Legend Jim Rohn, a treasured mentor & teacher, passed away Saturday, December 5, 2009. For nearly...
• 10 Things I Have Learned About Money This post helped me to win the 2009 Free Money Finance March Madness Competition and donate $500 to Second Harvest...

Filed under: Abuse, Opinion, Social Issues